'Chill out!' the two words I loathe to hear more than any others when I am irritated. Those words will ignite my fire and send the rocket booming to Mars. I admit I am not the most laid back of people, I have patience, or have heard of it at least, but my fuse can be short. Today, I was feeling particularly murderous and noticed that I am irritated by the some of the most ridiculous things...
1. Driving too close/tail-gating- I get it, I am in a VW Campervan, my top speed is fifty miles an hour, my average speed is thirty mph, you are in a hurry, you have some dreadfully important hang out with your BFF to get to. Seriously though, do you really think that driving your tinchy tiny Corsa within three inches of my bumper is going to make me drive any faster? No. Do you think your 1.2 litre engine is going to force my VW out of the way? No. No.
2. Stating the obvious regarding my children. 'He's got red hair!' No flipping shit Sherlock, does he really?I never noticed being his MOTHER! 'She is really pale', no, she just hasn't been tangoed by the fake tan brigade yet. Most people have skin this colour, it is called White Caucasian.
3. Advising me on how to look after my children. I just love it when I meander to the post office and old ladies grab my babies hands, then exclaim how cold they are and that they should have gloves on. It is twenty two degrees out here, his hands are fine, you however lost all feeling in your finger tips twenty years ago. Another favourite is when people remind me to watch my children- I was just going to sit here and let them run out of the gate, fall in the pond, climb inside the oven....come on people!
4. Facebook. I hate you Facebook. I am so bored of status' which show off, pictures which offend and the irritating lack of grammar, however I can't deleted the offenders as I will cause a raucous and end up friendless. One can't even delete the darn thing...I tried. I left for three months then clicked on a Facebook link and ta-dah! My account was there just as I left it, no option for permanent destruction.
So, I am tetchy today but don't tell me that. I am ready to throw things around the room. Time for some meditation classes I think, in the words of Buddhism- 'let it go'.